A completely non-training related post, but I feel like that's my life lately. I've got so much on my mind. I keep trying to remind myself that I have got a great life and these things on my mind are really all good. One thing I thought I was set with was the fact that we'll have three kids and that's it. They're wonderful, I'm truly blessed, I keep telling myself that should be good enough. Then a good friend of mine said she's pregnant with her fourth. Before the words "I'm so happy for you" had even finished leaving my mouth, "I'm so jealous!" was screaming through my head. I keep thinking I'm convinced that I'm okay with our family decision and then my heart decides it doesn't agree. What can you do when your heart holds out against all the practical, rational reasoning your mind can muster? I'm trying to convince myself to go the just "suck it up" route- I hope my heart comes around soon. Of course probably not as much as my husband hopes that, I can be miserable when I'm obsessing.
There's still the whole school-change-of-career thing in my life, too. I should have more answers this week after attending an open house about the nursing program.
I feel like I spend most of my time making excuses for why I'm not getting in the exercise and training that I should be. I'm not working towards the weight loss like I wanted to, and I'm just sort of floundering a bit. I may just take a break for a while until I've got my head, and maybe my life, a little more in order. Thanks to those that often leave me comments of support, I'll still be checking in. And who knows, maybe three days from now I'll be back to rant, rave or even post that I did something productive.