Saturday, June 30, 2007

Sometimes it's good

As much as I have complained, whined, fantasized etc. about not being an at-home mom, I know that there are really some good points about it. On Thursday morning I took the morning off from work to watch Hot Wheels at soccer and basketball camp. We arrived, Superman in tow, and almost immediately SuperDad was on duty keeping Superman occupied while I watched Hot Wheels take the court for the first of the camp games. It's a program from 3 and 4 year-olds, so the coaches exercise A LOT of patience and spend most of their time corralling all these kids onto the soccer field or basketball court and try to impart listening skills as much as any athletic skills. I looked around and noticed that most of the moms had parked themselves on a small hill off to the side, younger siblings safely secured in strollers, and spent most of the time talking amongst themselves. I spent the hour and a half taking pictures, reminding Hot Wheels to listen to his coaches, encouraging, cheering and being a distraction. I'm sure that for the moms that are home full time, something like this camp is a chance to get out and socialize with other moms. By day 4, they've already seem their kids kick the ball or shoot a basket and I know it's just not all that exciting. I don't fault them at all, but as someone that doesn't get to see these things every day, I couldn't imagine not being glued to the sidelines, watching what's going on. It's probably better for the kids when they're more on their own. Hot Wheels didn't need me standing there distracting him, he needs to learn to do these things on his own, under the direction of his coaches. So, in a way, the fact that I wasn't there every day was a good thing. He told me how happy he was that I came to see him, not many of the working fathers took a morning off to come watch their kids. I readily admit, I'm not completely enthralled with everything they do all the time. As I type this I'm listening to "mom, look at what I made" about 50 times as Hot Wheels and Superman play with Lincoln Logs. I do look and tell them, "that's nice" or an equivalent response, but I admit I'm not giving them my undivided attention, and that's fine. I do really enjoy watching them learn new things, new skills and new ways to interact with the world around them. I loved every minute of watching "Red Light, Green Light" while dribbling a soccer ball, watching the kids all play "What Time is it Mr. Fox?" as they tried to count the biggest steps they could take across the basketball court. Would I love it as much if it was something I saw every morning for a week? Maybe, maybe not. While I will always fantasize about being home with my kids all the time, maybe not being at home makes me appreciate the time I do have a little bit more.

After the whinier start to my week, or maybe it was a mid-week whine, things ended on a great note. I got a couple decent workouts at the gym, the weather broke and became sunny without all the heat and humidity, I finished up my last week at my old job and I'm ready to start my new job on Monday. We've got a great weekend ahead, nothing too exciting, a lot of work around the house and maybe some pool time this afternoon and some beach time tomorrow. Whatever we do, it will be an enjoyable family weekend. They're all pretty precious right now as we'll likely have a big adjustment phase in only about six weeks. A wonderful change, for sure, but still an adjustment.

Pregnancy status: 43 days to go!


shytrigirl said...

I hear ya. It hard not being able to stay home. I worry about regrets I'll have someday, or if me not being there all the time for them is going to adversely affect them somehow... At least you guys have one parent at home with them, soon I hope to have a similar situation to that as well.

Lisa - Slow & Steady said...

We always want what we dont have. I always wanted more time with the kids when they were litte too, but I think you probably do a good job of enjoying all the moments that you *do* have.

BTW - Thx for the comment about a good multi-vitamin. You had mentioned that earlier and I'm making sure to take mine everyday. I think it helps some, but there is still some underlying issue that I can't quite figure out...

ironjenny said...

HI! Wow - only 43 more days... I get such baby-envy from time to time... good thing you live far from me or you'd never get to hold the baby! ;-)
The whole work/ don't-work issue haunts us all from time to time I think. I actually went back to work for 6 weeks after Bobby was born, but between nursing in airport bathrooms and Hardee's parking lots (!) it just wasn't the same! Also, I had a nanny here, and when Bobby would cry I'd get jealous when she went to pick him up. But even though it was my choice to stay home, it still was a HUGE adjustment. But I'm used to it now. Once they get a little older, it;s easier.
I admit I am totally one of those moms who is socializing on the sidelines! Only the first day of each sport, each season, is picture-taking day -- then it's all about seeing my girlfriends and "being there" if someone gets hurt!!! Pathetic but true! ;-)

Fe-lady said...

Going back to work after my daughter was born was absolutely the most difficult emotional thing I ever experienced....just leaving her with almost complete strangers...well, I was probably not a very good teacher during those times as I couldn't concentrate very long on what I was supposed to be doing.
I think your situation is ideal...although I do remember the fatigue that goes along with pregnancy/working/working-out- but I didn't have two other children! So in my mind, you are allowed to whine anytime you feel like it! You are amazing with all you do!