Phbbttt

At some point I know I had motivation. I'm proud of myself for making it to the gym four mornings this week, after sleeping through Monday's alarm, even though I was up with at least one kid every night. Wednesday morning, though, was only a 20 minute workout on the Stairmaster, but that's better than nothing. (I hate the Stairmaster and that was a miserable 154 calories burned.) The part I'm NOT proud of, though, is that I've lost that push myself feeling I think I had at one point. When I tried to repeat my interval running workout from last week, I got to the third five-minute segment and I quit after two minutes. Then yesterday and today I was on the ARC trainer and I just didn't have that incentive to kick up the intensity as much as I should have. They were still 450+ calorie workouts, so I'm not a complete slug, but they should have been better. I'm sure that some day the motivation will return, or I'm at least hopeful if not sure.

December first approaches. While we were in the midst of all the chaos of new baby, new house settling, we put off the saving money and healthy eating plan. We're having one last take-out meal tonight, tasty Chinese, and then we get back to it. Super Dad was thinking the eating might as well wait until New Year's, but if I could avoid putting on a few more pounds just to try to lose them next month, that seems like a good plan to me. We'll see how it all goes.

Alarm?

I had the alarm all set for this morning, 4:32am. (I like to get up on a number that doesn't end in 0 or 5, just a weird thing, I feel like I get two extra minutes of sleep, but 4:35am would be too late.) Well, at 5:50am, Cutie was ready to eat and where was I? Oh, still in bed. At some point I took the watch alarm off my nightstand and shoved it under my pillow. Therefore, no gym. Oh well. I'm still fighting the cold that hit me Friday, I guess my brain somehow decided I needed another morning to sleep in. Besides, it meant I got a Cutie smile to start my day and a hug from the boys, what's better than that?

"Holy 'mokes!"

As Superman would have said. This morning was an u-u-u-ugly workout. I did return to work last week and the first few days at the gym I decided I'd hit the elliptical trainer and the ARC trainer. (The ARC is some other kind of elliptical, it seems much harder) This morning I attempted a jog. Here's the workout: 4 min @ 4 mph, 5 min @ 6 mph, 3 min @ 4 mph, 5 min @ 6 mph, 2.5min @ 4 mph, 5 min @ 6 mph, 5.5 min @ 4 mph then the cool down. Yikes, I felt every bit of the 4 months I took off from the gym, and the 8 months or so it's been since I ran a step. On that last run interval the HR monitor flashed 184, I think I was going to pass out, and then the run interval was over. Thank goodness. There's the run down of my first workout related post in ages.

Now, the good stuff. Everyone seems to have made the transition to work pretty well. Cutie is resistant to a bottle but she seems to be coming around. She's a little fussy in the mornings, but SuperDad's well equipped to handle it and she's been napping in her crib these days, rather than bouncy seats and car seats like when I was home, so it's probably a good thing for everyone. Routine is good. The anticipation of returning to work was worse than the return. Two days earlier we were in Lowes, in the hardware aisle, and she looked up at me smiling and babbling and I started to cry. Then when I got up to fed her that morning at 4:15am, I cried a little, but that was the last of the tears. Now it's just back to work, and it seems like my job may have some potential to be a less miserable place than my previous job, so maybe this is all working out.

Tomorrow is truly a day for Thanksgiving at our house full of blessings, happy turkey-day wishes to all.

Bragging

Look at the family I'm blessed to call my own. That's just the best reason in the world to get up in the morning.

And now, workouts will start this week as I return to work. It might be painful, it will be ugly and you'll hear about all of it.

The next couple days will be tough, I've started dwelling on how happy I've been at home and how my biggest dream right now would be to be home with the kids. However, we've made the possible sacrifices so that SuperDad could be home with the kids. It was a priority for us that one of us be at home, there's no way we could afford for me to be the one. Most days I can focus on the fact that we're doing what's best for the kids and my part of that right now is to go to work and provide for the family financially. Many times I lose sight of that, I pout, I sulk, I resent SuperDad and become grumpy and whiny. That may never go away, but I know that the hours I'm away from the kids aren't what will define their childhoods. My dad worked full time and I don't remember feeling like he wasn't there for us growing up. With my flex schedule I'm home by 4pm most days, not everyone can do that, I've still got hours with the kids before my ridiculously early bedtime, right after theirs. It's just what has to be done and like a good triathlete it's time to suck it up and work through it, transition time.

I'll be back soon.

Operation 7-11

Today was the day I would have returned to work if Cutie arrived on her due date. Thanks to her late arrival I've got another ten days until I return. I anticipate some tears next Thursday when I go back, and the kids might cry, too. I'm trying not to think about it for the next nine days.

My sister called last month to tell me that she's engaged. She's been dating her fiance for about 14 months now and they moved in together in September. I'm thrilled for her, he's a great guy and the boys already love their new uncle. He's about 6'4" (she's 6' tall) and was a football player in college, they think he's a riot and he's great fun for physical games since he can easily bench press both the boys. Anyway, today she's signing a contract for the reception on July 11th. She's warned me that as a member of the large bridal party (I'm one of EIGHT women), I will be wearing a strapless dress. So here's the scene, I am currently 168 pounds with a 35" waist, 40" hips, a 41" chest and 23" thighs- a solid size 10, pushing the 12 side. I know I've got to lose weight. In my mind I'd like to lose 28 pounds, the 10 pregnancy pounds still hanging around and then the 18 pounds I had wanted to lose before getting pregnant, but didn't. I was 140 pounds when I got married, but that was eight years and three kids ago, so I'm not sure it's realistic. That would be 3.5 pounds a month, or one pound a week or so. I know that I tend to hold on to some weight while nursing and Cutie will likely still be nursing in July, so I'm going to work more on feel than numbers.

The only thing (other than the necessary paycheck) I look forward to about going back to work, is the gym. I'll be back to regular workouts and my plan is that 2008 will be the year of the run. I'm planning to do my first ever stand alone 5k in April, the annual work-sponsored triathlon in August and we'll just see what the year brings other than that. I don't plan too much, life doesn't always cooperate around here, but that's part of the fun.

If...

... you told me eleven years ago that depression could pass and life was worth living...

... you told me eight years ago I would love my husband more than on the day we said "I do"...

... you told me five years ago "I wouldn't want to be home with kids full time, I'd get bored" might just be the most wrong thing I ever said...

... you told me two years ago that some day I would be able to say I'm a (slow) triathlete...

... you told me four months ago I would have a girl and she would wear pink 90% of the time...

... you told me three months ago that we would would move into our perfect home...

... you told me yesterday that I could be happier today...

I wouldn't have believed any of it. It's amazing how wrong I was, and I am so grateful.


A real post soon, life's gotten in the way.

All the preparation

Moving day is almost here. In a few hours we're picking up a rental truck, dropping the kids off at grandma and grandpa's house and packing like crazy for the rest of the day. Tomorrow the moving company comes to move the large furniture and Friday afternoon we close and move in! It's going to be a crazy couple days, but it will be so worth it once we're settled in the new place. I can hardly believe all that has happened over the course of the past two and a half months. Of course, Cutie's arrival dwarfs all of this in importance, but this has required far more work than Cutie- she's such a dream baby. Yesterday afternoon she sat on the couch or laid on the floor for two hours and was entirely amused by herself and her big brothers. Not that I hope to leave her alone for that long, but I had some stuff that had to get done and she obliged. She's found her hands, she likes to play with them when she can intentionally get them together. She's learned to reach for some things, maybe by accident or luck, but then she holds on for a while to get a feel for the world around her. When she's awake and hanging around she loves to smile at people and has wonderful "conversations" with anyone that wants to sit and talk for a while. She's just so laid back and happy, I'm amazed. Maybe I've already said all of this, but I'm daily reminded of how wonderful she is. Of course her big brothers have been troopers through all of this, too. Superman enjoys "helping" us pack boxes, which often have to be repacked, but he feels helpful. Hot Wheels helped me scrub the bathroom tub and has been doing some cleaning jobs with us.

Last week we went to the zoo and children's museum for the day, the kids liked the animals but weren't as excited as we had anticipated. The museum had a water room, though, and that was a huge hit. Monday afternoon it was in the mid-70s here, in October! We went to the park and the boys played a game of air baseball with SuperDad. The best part about air baseball is that every "hit" is a home run. There was much base running done by all, Cutie and I were enthusiastic spectators. Yesterday we went to the aquarium and had a good time as well. Here are more pictures, enjoy.

Hardware scandal and a new career

Yesterday we drove almost an hour for a fun run with Spiderman. Neither SuperDad nor myself participated in the 5k or even 2 mile fitness walk, just the kids run and then home. When we got there, Superman decided that he would run along with Hot Wheels. At not yet three years old, he was youngest in the race by quite a bit, although he's almost as tall as some 4-year olds so I don't think anyone guessed how young he was. We heard that the course was an out and back around some cones so before the start we walked with the boys down to the cones and told them they had to run all the way to that point before they could turn around. They lined up with the other kids and we were very surprised that Superman didn't want either of us to come with him, he was going to do it by himself, just like his big brother. They started out and Superman faded quickly, along with another boy. SuperDad was farther down the course than I was just in case one of the boys fell or needed guidance. Well, we tried to get that race course part correct, but when the first two kids rounded the cones and started coming back, Superman turned around, too. He didn't hear SuperDad trying to tell him to turn around again and run to the cones. He picked up some speed and since I was carrying Cutie in the carrier, I couldn't run out to grab him so when he crossed the finish line it looked like he was in second place. I didn't want to leave Hot Wheels on the course without cheering and getting his picture so I didn't get over to the finish line for a couple minutes and that's when I realized they didn't know that Superman hadn't done the whole course and that he was supposed to get a medal. Apparently, Spiderman runs at a lot of events and he always comes in third so the top three finishers get medals while everyone else gets a ribbon. This part really confused Hot Wheels and he was asking how a super hero could get beaten by some little kids. We told him that Spiderman wants all the kids to do their best so he slows down a little and sometimes lets kids win. We also mentioned that Spiderman was really just someone in a costume, to which he replied "yeah, I knew that". (and yet he still asked how the kids beat a super hero) Anyway, by the time we got over to the finish and realized that Superman's pull tab was ripped because they thought he came in second, the fun run was over and the race director was over at the 5k start. I felt really bad that the kid that came in fourth should have gotten a medal and not Superman but almost all the kids were already gone. I found the race director after the 5k start went off and explained the mistake and apologized that I didn't stop him before the finish. She started laughing and said I should relax because it's a FUN run, and there's no harm done. She gave me Superman's pull tab and told me to go get his medal since we weren't staying for the awards. So, we came home with hardware. At first I told the boys it was a special medal because they were the only brothers in the race but then we realized that wasn't a good idea, so we told them it was a mistake that Superman won the award because he didn't really run the whole way. Apparently they couldn't care less WHY they have the medal, they just like wearing it around. It was a fun morning although Hot Wheels was disappointed that he came in towards the back. I think he crossed the line seventh out of eight and there were two Rosie Ruiz imitators ahead of him, too, since Superman's not the only one that turned around early. He asked quite a few times yesterday whether we were proud of him for running his race and we assured him we were very proud, although I was a little worried about how important it seemed for him to hear that repeatedly.

Two new runners in the family. Registrations could start getting expensive, but at least we'll always have t-shirts to wear. I'm just thrilled they think this is fun.

Back by popular demand

Thanks for asking, Duane, here's Cutie, and her brothers. A real post will follow soon.

Who needs practice?

A couple weeks ago Hot Wheels mentioned that it's been a long time since he's had a running race, so he'd like to do another one. As luck would have it there's a race next Sunday, with Spiderman no less, and it's close to my brother-in-law's house, so his cousin will likely come to run as well. He's mentioned a few times that he needs to practice and he'll run laps of the house. Then every now and then we have weeks like this. Wednesday we went apple picking and to a corn maze at a big farm where the kids ran around plenty (although not in the maze, they did follow the no-running rule there), Thursday night we met up with friends at the playground and the boys ran around for almost three hours- sunset was 6:24pm and we left about 6:40pm. Yesterday a bunch of boys from his class all met up at the local park after pre-school, there was two hours of non-stop chasing, running, jumping, etc and last night we were at my friend's house where the boys ran around the yard with her three kids for another two hours. It was so much activity this week and I didn't think they'd be up for running at the boardwalk this morning. Of course they were, and they wanted to play on the beach as well, you guessed it, running. I had Cutie in the baby carrier and for a while I had Superman on my back along the boardwalk, there's a decent workout for walking. On the beach I did some walking lunges, with Cutie still in the carrier, and I was reminded in ungraceful fashion that my quads are quite weak. Something to work on when I get back to the gym. It did remind me that I can get in a bit more exercise than I have been, little opportunities arise all the time and I ignore them. But I'm fine with that for now. On the way home from the boardwalk this morning, Hot Wheels mentioned that he hasn't practiced much for his race next weekend, it made me laugh. He's excited about another race, he really hopes to beat Spiderman, I'm not sure how fast Spiderman is.

On another note, if I could take a picture of their shins it would be embarrassing to show how many bruises the boys both have. At least they were all self-inflicted through activity. Then I look down at my own shins and realize they have likely inherited my complete lack of grace. But if they've got my determination they'll make it through the bruises and be active anyway.