Sunday, March 04, 2007

Sometimes I don't think, some ramblings

If you are what you eat, that would explain why after this week I am FAT. I was sidetracked by another cold this week, had 3 half-hearted workouts and the cravings hit big time. You may remember my blueberry ramblings, I am still on that kick. As of this evening, I've had blueberries in the following manner: fresh and frozen by the handful, in muffins, in mini-muffins, in pancakes, in coffee cake, in chocolate squares (Hershey's dark chocolate blueberries and cranberries) and in waffles. The week, and really the past month, has been a general nutritiohal nightmare and it's catchinng up with me. The maternity jeans that I haven't even been wearing long have gone from a flattering fitted look, so an almost obnoxious- too tight in my upper legs look. I REFUSE to buy new jeans that I will wear for only 20 weeks more (my maternity leave starts at 37 weeks and then I can switch to all shorts and comfortable pants) just because I'm not eating properly and have outgrown them. I'm all for indulging at times during pregnancy, but I'm going to undo all the work I did to lose the weight I lost before getting pregnant and it's just not worth it- even for a blueberry muffin. So, right here and now I'm committing to TRACKING what I eat and being accountable. It has to be done and putting it off won't help. So there, back on track starting tomorrow morning. (Wait, I've got left-0vers from dinner tonight that I'll eat tomorrow so maybe I'll get on track on Tuesday. Just kidding, portion control can be done!)

The not thinking part comes from my latest foray into "something new". As my husband could tell you, ever since he's known me I'm always looking for something to do. I'm not very good at just being in the here and now, I need to feel like I'm working towards something. Although ever since the kids came along, that urge has really become less disruptive to my normal life as I'm more content than I ever have been. However, last spring I had to try this "triathlon thing" and in contrast to being the once-in-a-lifetime-do-it-to-say-I've-done-it, it's something I fell in love with. My latest adventure is an on-line course in proofreading with the intention to taking it on as a part-time job. I've always been a bit of a grammar geek and I've been told it's something I've got a natural aptitude towards. Apparently, I WAY over-estimated my qualifications because this course is very intimidating and it's pointed out to me that I pretty much know nothing. I've got about six weeks to finish the course and after that I should be qualified to work as a freelance proofreader. It seemed like a good idea until I really thought about the logistics. In order to be financially feasible I'd need to work about 10 hours a week. Where the heck did I think I was going to pull another 10 hours out of my week to do another job? I'll finish the course and take it from there, but I'm venturing a guess that this venture will not lead into much of anything. Oh well.

On a happy note, Thursday was a sort of holiday in our family. My sister and I were both adopted as infants, we're not biologically related, which is readily apparent when we're seen together. The day that my parents brought us home from foster to care to live with them has always been celebrated in our family as sort of a second birthday, our Homecoming Day. Hallmark doesn't make cards for it, but it's the most important family holiday for us. My biological parents were 2 high school kids that made the very unselfish and responsible decision to see a pregnancy through in order to give me up to my parents, 2 wonderful people who just couldn't have children of their own. I can't imagine growing up with any other parents, or without my awesome sister, and I am forever grateful that my situation turned out as it did for all of us. My eternal thanks to my biological parents, for giving me my family- my awesome parents and wonderful sister.

On to a new week.

Pregnancy status: 17 weeks; 161 days to go- time's just flying by.


Siren said...

This made me cry, in a happy kind of way. We've been trying for 7 years to have children - nature doesn't seem to want that for us, and we've chosen not to pursue medical intervention. We had a potential adoption fall through last year - it was hard, but it made us all the more determined to bring children into our life. On the days that my heart is breaking from wanting it so much, it's wonderful to hear about people in adopted families who got a happy ending because it gives me what I need to keep working towards it.

Tersie said...

This was so sweet. You have such a great outlook on life. My soon-to-be-ex brother-in-law and his wife adopted all three of their children. It is wonderful to know that there are parents out there with so much love to offer to children and birth parents who care enough for the life of the child to see the pregnancy through so that these adoptive parents can have a child to love. It would have to be so hard to carry a baby full term knowing that baby will be given up for adoption. I think that is nothing short of love and dedication to the future of that child! Thank you so much for sharing. It touched me deeply.

And kudos for deciding to start tracking what you eat. Don't be too strict with your food. I'm sure you know what you're doing though! :)

Julia said...

Loved that last paragraph, made me cry a little! Happy Birthday!

I remember in my last pregnancy I tracked for the first four months and was being really really good. Then all hell let loose...Keep up the food tracking and general moving around - you know how much you'll hate yourself if you gain too much weight. I'd drop all the carbos out of the blueberry fixings and just eat straight blueberries - I mean, if that's where the craving REALLY is.