The truck I feel like I was hit by at some point over the past 2 days. Yesterday morning's workout was a 35 minute kickboxing class and then a few minutes of some strength training and stretching. I felt great during the class and then some time during the day it all went to crap. It doesn't feel like normal post tough workout pain, and the workout didn't seem much harder than what I've been doing recently. However, I feel like I've been flattened. I'm sore, slow and cranky. The worst part of it was that it made me into "spectator mom" when I got home from work. I was just wiped out. I had enough energy for reading stories and watching the kids run around, take a bath, etc., but I just didn't have it in me to participate as usual. I had less patience and by bedtime I was downright "crabby mom". Then when they were asleep I felt guilty because I've only got about 4 hours a day with them during the week, I get home at 4pm in they're in bed around 8pm. I live for those hours and when I feel like I wasted them it makes me feel worse. I guess the pregnancy hormones are just hitting me hard this week. I'm really frustrated with the job situation and I'm not very good at just sitting back and waiting, but there's nothing else I can do. I backed off on the workout this morning and just hit the elliptical trainer for 30 minutes. Tomorrow morning's swim will be good, too, I'm looking forward to trying out those paddles again. Paul has suggested that maybe I'm getting to the point where I need to back off on the workouts. He mentioned I don't have to be in "triathlon shape" right now, which made me laugh because when I did my 2 triathlons I don't really think I was in "triathlon shape", whatever that is. There is a part of me that's really worried about my fitness levels falling back so far that I'll never get back after the baby arrives. And it's not as if I started at the shape I wanted to be in, so I've got even farther to go after the baby. Then it's hard to work out while nursing and my whole body will just be out of whack for a while. Maybe I'm fighting it too much. I'm definitely gaining weight and I'm not doing anything unhealthy, but I guess if I'm really feeling poorly a day off won't kill me, right? The weight's another issue, but it's just a mental one with me. The scale hit 170 this weekend. When I was in weight loss mode I worked so hard to get below 170, that was a long plateau, that even though I know it's for a good reason, I felt a twinge of anxiety when I saw the numbers on the scale. I've got 20 weeks left and probably 15 pounds more, so I'm trying to just push those thoughts aside as much as I can and focus on the good stuff. Some days it's just harder than others.
On the nice side, tomorrow morning's the ultrasound visit with critter. I'm just to see a healthy little person growing in there. I may have to distract grandma from the screen when the technician gets to any identifying areas- she'll try to figure it out. She's pretty sure it's another boy, although I know that she and my sister are both hoping for a girl. If it is, my house will explode in pink between the two of them. I truly don't care, it will be a wonderful finale either way.